permanent residen(ce)ts

Posted on May 27, 2012 by waggadventure

Yes, as we said at the end of the last post, we are now permanent residents of Australia. They aren’t going to kick us out [Lisa edit: unless Dan does something REALLY stupid; we all know that could happen!]. And that means it is time to get homophonic…we are permanent residents with a permanent residence. We bought a house.

One of the features we like about this house is all the rock in the landscaping.

The residence (house) stuff was all going down, but sort of on hold, while the residency (visa) stuff was happening. Here’s a brief rundown, supplementing (overlapping?) things from the last post. We started looking at houses (thanks for helping Gloria!) several weeks ago, knowing that the lease on the rental is up in early July and we didn’t want to sign for another six months.  At one open house, the agent told us about another house we might be interested in, and later in the day we went to look at it (through the windows, but it’s a new, empty house so no one called the police). This was a Saturday afternoon. We liked it – a lot! – so on Monday we called the bank for a mortgage pre-approval. That came through on Thursday, so we rang the agent and went that evening for another look…and made a verbal offer. A couple of phone calls to negotiate (while we stood in the kitchen) and it was accepted. Things are a bit casual here…nothing signed yet.

On Friday we call the bank again, do some more formal things, get a solicitor (lawyer in Canadian lingo) to handle the transaction, and all is going fine until those calls from the bank and the immigration lawyer  on the following Tuesday. Then, as you read earlier this week, things went to hell…

As we said, we were drawn to the rocks! Lots more of them out back. Good place for spiders to nest…

As the visa application was being processed, we did everything we could to keep the house sale going…slowly. There were a couple of clauses in the contract that we wanted to see if we could get changed, such as the possession date and the deposit. In Canada, you negotiate those things; here, the standard is that  you get the house 28 days after signing and giving a 10% deposit. We wanted a slightly later possession (don’t want to be paying mortgage and rent for too long) and the idea of a 10% deposit when you only need 5% in the bank for a mortgage is odd. Hell, we sold our house in Canada with a 2% deposit! So the solicitors solicited one another (isn’t that illegal in some countries?) and got that worked out. And we got a termite inspection done…

Then we just sort of cooled our heels while Lisa went to Canada, and DIAC did its stuff. Our lawyer, the vendor’s lawyer, the current owner (a builder), the bank and the agent were calling one another, trying to keep everyone happy. We checked in with our lawyer and the agent every few days, updating that there was no update. The vendor was getting a bit antsy (termitey?), we heard, but our lawyer thinks he just needed to relax…we were going to buy the house, we just needed a bit of time.

As per our last post, it all finally came together.

So on Friday morning we signed the contract to purchase and left a deposit cheque with our lawyer; later that afternoon we signed the mortgage documents. We bought a house.

Our loan agent at Commonwealth Bank acknowledged that they aren’t very environmentally friendly with all the paperwork. At least we had a good bottle of wine (really good!) to sip on as we tried to make sense of what we had just signed.

Well, we think we bought a house. We at least signed a form to borrow money and to use that money to purchase a house. And we signed a contract with our lawyer saying that we will buy it. Beyond that, how the transaction will take place kind of baffles us. The lawyers, having already solicited one another need to “exchange” (may have happened after we left; we’re not sure…we don’t want to know). On the day of possession the lawyers and the bank will “attend settlement” – but we don’t. We think it’s a big drink fest at the local brewery, where they have a few pints, toss some cheques around the table, and then decide to call us to pick up the keys. That’s our only job on settlement, apparently; we get a call and pick up the keys. But then again, we did sign to give the bank permission to access our account for any expenses on that day…if there is a Thirsty Crow invoice in there, we are going to be pissed! And there are some clauses on some of the docos that seem a bit weird, but we were assured that they are just typical Australian house transfer stuff. Such as there being a fee to have the deed/title to the house turned over to us after the mortgage is paid…otherwise, it (the paper itself or what it says on it, we’re not sure) stays with the bank…even though we own it… We don’t think they were just taking advantage of some naive Canadians (but wait! we’re pseudo-Aussies, now that we have PR status; would they really do that to one of their own?).

And it is even more baffling… because from now to 72 hours before we get possession of the house (or the bank does, or our solicitor, or something happens) we will be out of the country. Yes, this was also a bit of an issue in terms of getting all the stuff organized and signed, because we are heading to Ontario for 2 weeks (well, we’ll be off this island for 2 weeks, but that does include a lot of time in the air). And if we didn’t get everything signed by the time we left, we would have just had to walk away from a good deal on a good house and start hunting again when we got back. But that wouldn’t have given us enough time to get the process done before we had to be out of the rental, so we’d be looking at another few months of paying someone else to live here.

Look closely at the roof: solar panels! Every house in Australia should have them. We hope to not have any power bills!

And it would also mean that a lot of the economic concessions that we are eligible for now that we have the 857 (PR) visa wouldn’t be in place; another huge incentive to get PR status and have the house sale completed before June 30 was that there are two NSW government programs – one for people buying their first home,  and another for people buying their first home that is a new home, that are worth about $20,000! We got in just under the wire… Imagine that? Become a pseudo-Aussie and they pay you to live here! A fair dinkum deal that!

So we’re now off to ‘home’ – back to visit family and friends (Lisa edit: And one of us will be working! Hello?? I have a conference; hope to see a bunch of you in Waterloo!). Probably no blogging for a couple of weeks…

Posted in Australia, banking, cultural differences, money, Moving, real estate, small town culture, wagga, wagga wagga | 2 Comments

you say you want a resolution

Posted on May 24, 2012 by waggadventure

For the past few weeks, Lisa’s had one song stuck in her mind, with the line “ball of confusion” (the Love and Rockets version – gotta love that 80’s hair!) playing endlessly. The ball has finally been sorted!

When last we spoke, our lives had been turned upside down by two phone calls: one from the bank and one from our immigration lawyer. Of course, both arrived on the same day, while Lisa was in Canberra for some intense research meetings. Tired, and in serious need of a glass of wine, she was chilling in her hotel room (post-meeting; pre-dinner) when call #1 arrived. Uh, yes, well.. the bank had made just a tiny little error. Nothing serious, mind you… they just ticked the wrong box, by mistake.

Some days, it seems like things might have been a bit easier if we just got a refugee boat to drop us on Christmas Island.

That box was on a form for a home loan, as we had just put in an offer on a house. That box said that we were “permanent residents” when, in fact, we were just “temporary residents, here at the whim of Australian immigration” (okay, that’s probably not what the tick boxes say, but you get the idea). How to resolve this tiny little error? Um… no worries! Just come up with a 20% deposit on the house, so we don’t have to get the mortgage insured. In other words, find  $80,000 cash. Yipes! Our mortgage was in jeopardy! Ah well, no worries — our PR application is in and should be settled any day now. She’ll be right, mate!

Yeah, well… not so fast. Enter phone call #2 — from our immigration lawyer. Um… yeah, well, DIAC is wondering why your police clearances look different. Lisa’s is just a formal letter from a chief of police, while Dan’s has really cool looking fingerprints attached. They didn’t like Lisa’s official police clearance — they wanted fingerprints. Now! And the PR status was not going to happen without them. Okay – so for a bit of back story read this earlier post. We were so hopeful back then! At that time, we were waiting for Lisa’ s parents to receive the magic letter from the Owen Sound Police, providing her clearance. Success! It arrived at her parents’ place within days, they couriered it to Australia, the immigration lawyer submitted everything to the government… and, we waited, again.

A few days later, Lisa receives an email from the RCMP, saying that the quality of her fingerprints was too poor for analysis (“damn you, Wagga police station!” she thinks); the file is being returned to Australia. Weeks go by before the offending packages comes in the mail. Ah – no worries! The police check done in Owen Sound will fit the bill! Oh, you are so wrong to think that… Now we jet ahead to that hotel room in Canberra, where immigration has decided that pretty pictures of Lisa’s fingers are needed to secure PR. It only took them many weeks to make this decision!

And so, what to do? Return to the Wagga Police for round #2 of the ink prints (i.e., could take up to 4 months for the RCMP to process, if – and that’s a big “if” – the prints are of good quality). Or, wait until the next time you’re in Canada, where you can do digital prints with a 72-hour processing time? Hmm… (and yes, Lisa begged the RCMP to allow her to do digital prints from Australia; no luck! Apparently, the RCMP doesn’t trust the local or federal police here in Oz – or any other country. Go figure! According to our lawyer, even the FBI allows digital from outside of the USA now. Canada? We’re more secure… or something).

Yes Lisa’s fingerprints are blurry, but they prove that she has opposable thumbs. Kangaroos don’t have thumbs…

Now, this normally wouldn’t be a big deal, esp. as Lisa has a conference in Canada at the end of May. She could just wait a few weeks and deal with this. However — you must remember that phone call #1 has already happened. We put an offer on a house (in good faith!), but the bank ticked the wrong box. Now, we have a vendor who is fuming, two lawyers who are waiting, a rental agent getting nervous… What a mess! Now, we might have let the house go back on the market — but the other wrinkle was that the lease on our rental house was set to expire mid-July. Since the process of buying a house can take a few weeks, and since Lisa was going to be away for two weeks for her conference, we realized that we (and our three kitties!) could be completely homeless if this wasn’t sorted – and quick! Living in a defense house we are always on borrowed time, with no guarantee that we could extend the lease for another few months. Talk about a rock and a hard place!

The solution? Easy! Hop online: book a flight from Sydney to Vancouver with airline points (thankfully, Lisa has a shitload of points! still costs $850 in taxes and such); book a flight from Wagga to Sydney ($300); book a hotel in Sydney (must overnight there due to crazy winter fog in Wagga, which regularly delays early morning flights – cost, $200); and, book a hotel in Vancouver for one night (cash in Starpoints, so only costs $45). Make plans for fingerprinting (i.e., Commissionaires – $85), visits to banks in Canada to organize contingency funds if needed, and other errands that can only be done in country. Email boss to describe crazy life circumstance and book personal leave. Reschedule 20+ meetings, begging forgiveness from all concerned and providing the best excuse, ever, for rescheduling! Make an online booking at an amazing place for lunch ($29 for a three-course meal at Market, plus wine – and yes, there was wine!). Download a ton of movies to watch on the IPad during the flights. Pack only a carry-on with survival items to get through the airports quickly.

More time in the air than actually in Vancouver – and a lot of time sitting in the Air Canada lounge at YVR. At least there was a nice sunset.

So, apologies to those readers in the Vancouver area! Yes, Lisa thought of calling you while she was in town… but she was far too stressed (and jet-lagged, and stunned) to deal with being social. She was on the ground for about 36 hours, either sorting out the to-do list or trying to catch up on sleep. When arriving in Vancouver she had a very set timeline to get everything done. First up – a shower at the Fairmont Vancouver Airport. A little known (but important!) travel fact: Fairmont President’s Club members (it’s free to join!) get free access to the health club, including showers! For a flight that arrives at 8am, with a full day ahead, this is crucial. Shuttle to airport hotel, check-in  (i.e., leave suitcase), train to downtown, fingerprint visit #1. This was interesting, as it turns out that Lisa’s left hand is defective! Almost no fingerprints (so the system kept “failing” her fingers). The commissionaires staff tried lotion, re-rolling, and even pulled in an expert (i.e., older) staffer to give it a best shot. In the end — 3 good prints, a letter to the RCMP that we “tried our best!” and a call to come back that afternoon for confirmation of fingerprint acceptance. If all else failed, Lisa was advised that she might need to buy a bottle of olive oil and soak her hand overnight to see if the prints would come up (seriously!).

Then on to banking, lunch, a second visit to the Commissionaires to check on the prints — and yes, the RCMP accepted them! Yay! More banking and errands. Stumble around the streets of Vancouver trying to determine if you’re really on another continent or not. Consider going to Fluevog, only to realize you have no spare room in carry on luggage (Damn!). Kill time wandering. Go to dinner at Cactus Club. Watch an episode of Sons of Anarchy; watch another episode; and another. Stay up as late as possible due to time zone. Sleep in until 11am (thank stars for late check out!). Have lunch. Check out. Shuttle to airport. Hang in airport lounge for 10 hours… and, you’re done! Mission accomplished!

Fly home. Sleep. Shake head at crazy week. Try to adjust to being home in Australia. Done! And, luck was on our side. The RCMP did their job within just two days and Lisa’s parents received the letter (like gold!) and sent it by courier to the lawyer in Sydney (thanks Dad – you made it all work!). Courier took two business days, it was off to immigration immediately… and, we’re thrilled to report, we are now the proud owners of PR status! We are now one step closer to being “real” Aussies (we qualify for Medicare, at least!). And yes, the house is coming through, too… details on that to follow.

Posted in airport, Australia, fingerprints, travel, Visa, wagga | 5 Comments

let me fill your cup

Posted on May 19, 2012 by waggadventure

A couple of weeks ago, we posted a very odd, very short entry about how things here were a bit messed up.  That was, in a way, a continuation of a post from months ago…and also related to a number of other posts since then.   Now, we’re at the point where we can explain what has been going on in our crazy lives. But, because of Dan’s little physics lesson last week (he’s recovering well, by the way, and thanks to everyone who has expressed concern…and no, the idiot in the car wasn’t charged), we’ve already messed up the chronological order to our posting/lives, so we’re going to tell another older story and make you wait for the resolution of our other strange tale.

Last weekend, we attended another CSU winery event, similar to the Barrel Hall Dinner that we wrote about in September. This one was the Harvest Celebration, and a bit more informal than the previous event. And in some ways, not as good, though it has a lot of potential…and things we mention in this post we’ve given to them as feedback already, and they acknowledge that some better planning might have been good.

First off, this one wasn’t a sit-down dinner; billed as a Mediterranean barbecue, we didn’t actually know that there was no seating, and no full meal. Instead, our group of 6 managed to find a barrel to sit our drinks on and use as a table, and we stood for about 4 hours outside the barrel hall. Yes, outside in Australia in May…it got a bit chilly! Our barrel was beside a fire, but not a great fire.

Anyone who grew up using wood for heat, as Dan did, knows you need coals not flames. Grape vines don’t make coals – this fire could have used a good big red gum log.

The cellar door manager did say to us later that she didn’t think the fires were good enough – the person in charge of that wasn’t really up on how to have a good fire, so instead of having big blocks of wood that throw a lot of heat, they were burning grape vines that had been pruned. Kind of cool…in more ways than one. They didn’t do a great job of keeping us warm on the 9 degree evening – but they did smoke the hell out of us all evening. If we had known, we would have dressed more appropriately.

And the other problem with the temperature was that it didn’t help to showcase the wines very well. All the wines we were served were new releases. There was a new sparkling wine, a chardonnay, a grenache, a petit verdot, a cab/merlot blend, and also we had a sample of a yet-to-be bottled cabernet. And serving the reds at this temperature didn’t allow their full flavour to come out. We ended up buying a case of the petit verdot (love that staff discount!) and will probably buy the grenache when it becomes available even though we don’t know what they really taste like. This might be partly because of the cold and partly because both were served late in the event, and they don’t hold back on the wine! But both are also worth trying and are limited quantities…can’t remember exactly how much, but it was something like 100 cases of each produced.

The CSU petit verdot uses the new ‘initial’ labeling that started with the M (for merlot) an T (for tempranillo) last year. It is very good: thick, inky, cocoa-y…you need to brush your teeth well after a glass of this!

Foodwise, again, was hit and miss. We were expecting a sit-down meal but instead got served finger foods. And while most of them were good – arancini balls were spectacular, as were the lamb kofta – there wasn’t a lot of it. And the pacing was a bit off at times, so we would go for long periods with no food. And a couple of items, such as a gazpacho shooter (which we later learned was very expensive…not a good idea) was kind of ho-hum.  But again, they just kept pouring wine…every time you looked, there would be someone with a bottle or two, offering to fill your glass. So overall, it was a pretty fun evening and definitely worth the money.

Next day, however, we had to deal with the residual smoke! Our clothes and hair and bodies reeked of burnt grape vine – Dan’s jacket is still hanging on the door, trying to air out. And our sheets and pillowcases…well, good thing it was laundry day. And it was a good thing it was a Sunday too – a lot of wine was consumed the night before!

Posted in barbecue, CSU, food, wine, wineries | Leave a comment

the sound of one hand typing

Posted on May 17, 2012 by waggadventure

While sitting on the bed in emergency at Wagga Base Hospital yesterday, waiting for the doctor to come back to glue my eyebrow back together, I (Dan) licked the inside of my sore lip and dislodged a pebble.  Spitting it out, I said to lisa (who was sitting there bored and hungry, but concerned)  that it made me feel better getting that piece of grit out of my face. This was about 3 hours after I sent her this text:

Not good for typing…so rather than work today (where I type a lot) I am staying home and blogging!

Yes, after more than 4000 km of cycling around wagga, I had a crash! Not nearly as bad as it could have been – i was well enough to text lisa as the driver and i waited for the police, but right now i am sturggling tp write this blog with a somewhat damaged left hand.

here’s what happened: I was riding home from work, just about there, a few hundred metres from where i turn off the major road into our ‘hood. I had just reached the top of the last hill, pumping along at 30 k/hour, as a Landrover passes me then turns into a driveway…across in front of me. I brake hard with both hands, and physics, precisely inertia took over: rubber pads against wheels stop them from turning, rubber tires sliding rough tarmac stop the bicycle quite quickly. But Newton would have also explained that the 80 kg person perched on said bicycle, with no resistance (friction) to slow him down, probably isn’t going to stop as fast as the bike. That person will continue on down the road… or more accurately forward and then down on to the road. At which point, more friction occurs. Did Newton know about road rash? And is there an equation that explains how both the bike and person will end up in the same place…with the bike on the rider’s back?

My beloved ‘pushie’ came out pretty much unscathed I think. Haven’t done a close inspection, but I think just a reflector and the bell are broken.

So there I am, sprawled on the pavement, bleeding from a lot of places. Not sure what hit first, but the parts with most damage were my left hand, my right forearm, my right knee and the right side of my face. I think that was what hit first – the visor was knocked of my helmet but otherwise it didn;t sustain damage (but i will replace it asap!); my sunglasses are in pieces (that’s a long story…it took me forever to get these prescription sunnies!) and I think they might actually be the source of the huge gash on my eyebrow. A lot of skin off other places (knee, both hands, arms, chin), a black eye, and a dislocated finger. Middle fingers on left hand are taped together to straightn the injurded one, so typing is a bit of a challenge!

Last I heard from the police, they dodn’t know if the driver of the car would be charged with anything. He is adamant that he did nothing wrong and that i wasn’t near him…he is wrong! He has no idea how fast a cyclist goes! There were two witnesses whose numbers I gave to the police who would say that theuy guy cut me off, so hoopefully they call them.

iPhone holder and sunnies didn’t fare as well.

I want him charged with careless driving or something like that because 1) he was driving dangeroulsy and  is oblivious to cyclists and people like that need to pay! and 2) if he is charged/convicted, his insurance will pay for my new sunnies, a new helmet, a new iphone holder, broken reflectors…. But I’m not holding out much hope because since we didn’t actually collide, it is just which story the police beleive. The driver was denying it right from the start – even when I asked him to call police and he didn’t know number I told him call 000 (the emergency number, similar to 911 in North america) and he said that was for emergencies…to which i replied that i think the amount of blood coming out of me constitutes an emergency. He then told the dispathcer that some guy had fallen off his bike and didn’t need an ambulance! It wasn’t until Lisa got there (responding to my text) that she called 000 again and got ambulance…and the police just got there then too. Not sure what took them so long.

I wasn’t sleeping, I was seething in anger. Not at the guy who cut me off but at Lisa who wouldn’t let me do a facebook ‘check in’ at the hospital. She thought it might worry people.

Despite a lot of bad press about the state of the hospital here, I have to say I had pretty good service from the entire health/medical aspect of it. The two paramedics were a hoot…really nice guys. And for some reason, probably stress, my heart was beating irregularly so though they said I should go to hospital for wounds, the heart thing made it even more serious to them. So, they rush me to the hospital where I then quite quickly got into a room and put on a heart monitor – as they said, even though it was busy, they got to jump the line with me because I was a combination cardiac and trauma…that beats out on just one problem! The nurse who put me on another monitor didn’t see any problems with my heart though (but it did get a bit wacky again when one of the paramedics came to say goodbye, so I think it was a reaction to him). But based on the paramedics’ report, they did an ECG: all clear… And luckily with our residency application under review, we have medicare, so between that and our supplementary private insurance this should all be free (ambo would have been close to $400 otherwise…ambos from motor vehicle accidents are free, but with no contact this wasn’t one!)

The poor nurse who was looking after me was run off her feet with five patients in emergency, but remained quite chipper. When I showed her my swollen, askew fingertip, she said “that kind of looks like it is probably a little bit broken, I’ll find you some ice” and every time she came back for something, or just went by, she reminded me she was still thinking about my ice! Never got it, but she seemed to be trying.

This is the cleaned up version, 23 hours later. I feel like I just lost a boxing match. And I probably should have shaved yesterday before work, because I probably won’t be for a few days.

The doctor who finally dealt with me was a bit aloof – he was a new resident and I think out of his element but he did OK. I don’t think he took my finger pain as seriously as I did, but eventually, after gluing my eyebrow back together (not bad enough for sutures) did send me to get the finger x-rayed. And when it turned out that the end joint was a bit dislocated, he just loosely taped it to the one beside it and sent me home. Where I proceeded to remove that tape, clean the pebbles out of the gash he had ignored, and re-tape it a bit tighter…i want it straight!

The x-ray tech was probably the worst. He kept moving my hand around, trying to get the right view and hurting me. Eventually he noticed and asked if he was hurting me – i pointed out that i was there for a potentially broken finger (as if the bruising and swelling wasn’t obvious to him) but that other parts of my hand were missing several of the outer layers ( I would say skin, but I think it went more than skin deep in places…22 hours later, as a type, my left hand is still bleeding!) Oh well, I know that his treatment of me means that he has to clean my blood off of his equipment 🙂 If he would have been gentler, it would have been cleaner.

And then, finger taped, face glued, we leave, 5 hours after the actual incident. And head straight to Wagga Thai for takeout because we are starving. Takeout because during all of this, noone ever attempted to clean me! So I was still coated in blood and pebbles, and still wearing my bike clothes so getting a bit chilly!

Overall, it could have been a lot worse. The paramedics said they hate getting calls about bike/car interaction, because they are never good, so were quite happy to see that in the grand scheme of things mine was pretty minor! Who knows, it might have been so minor that if they weren’t worried about my heart I might still be waiting in emergency.

Posted in accident, bicycle, cycling, danger, health care, hospital, inertia, road rash | 6 Comments

All mod cons

Posted on May 13, 2012 by waggadventure

As we’ve been looking for a house to buy, we have a list of what we need, and what we want. It is a similar list to the one we had for finding a rental, but we are more picky on what we are willing to move from the ‘need’ category to the ‘want’ category to the ‘settle for’ category.  We have, in this rental house, all the we need but not all that we want. For a permanent residence, the ‘essentials’ list is longer.

The rental house frequently has huntsman spiders drop by. We hope wherever we buy also has them occasionally, but not a priority. And we don’t know how you can plan for them!

Ducted heating and cooling: One of our priorities for a rental, and even moreso for a purchase, was central heat and air conditioning. We have seen a lot of houses that don’t have central heat – they instead have ‘gas bayonets’ – gas outlets that you hook a portable heater to and move from room to room as needed. Or wall-mounted  heaters in each (or just some) room. Sure it doesn’t get really cold here, but already, based on the mediocre heat in our offices, the slight chill, when it doesn’t go away, can get annoying… Other houses have a/c in just some rooms. We want the whole house to be warm or cool as needed. In Canadian terms, “Central Air”  – important in a hot climate! Then there is the issue of what kind of system. Most houses seem to have one unit that does both heating and cooling, and while the heating is similar for all, there are two kinds of air conditioning: evaporative cooling and reverse cycle/refrigerated. Our rental has evaporative. It is some wacky Aussie system that blows a chilled mist into the house, and supposedly is very good for the dry Wagga climate. But, as people have pointed out to us constantly, Wagga has become a bit more humid over the past few years and this method just adds to the moisture level in your house. We have a little humidity gauge…a leftover from our life in dry Edmonton…and one day when it was both hot and humid, with the cooling system running, it was up around 95%. Everything just felt damp, and it was a bit uncomfortable. And we also wonder what that does to our art (we don’t even want to think about that 😦 ) And with evaporative cooling, you don’t set a temperature you want – you just turn it on and it cools things down, and the best you can hope for is about 10 degrees difference, which is what we were getting this year: on a 36 day, inside would be about 26. Not bad. But if it gets up to 42 some day, we will want something that will cool the house to lower than 32. So, priority #1: ducted heating and reverse cycle cooling.

Bathrooms: In Canada, a ‘bathroom’ or ‘washroom’ was  generally one room with a sink, a toilet, and a bathtub or shower. Here (as in Europe), most houses will have these separated into two or even three rooms, with any number of doors… The main bathroom in the rental, for example, has the sink in an open area off a hall, the toilet behind a door from that, and the shower and tub in another area shared with a bedroom. This type of confusing layout is common.  We even looked at one house where the toilet was so far away from a sink that it was probably 40 steps (including two corners) from where you did “your business” to where wash your hands… But the bigger issue has been that we need two ‘bathroom’ areas in general…we want guests to have their own bathroom. And more important, for the majority of the time when we don’t have guests, mornings are much better when we each have our own shower. And that is a bit of a challenge: how often, when looking at Canadian real estate listings, would you see a house with 4 bedrooms and one bathroom? NEVER! In Wagga…that is probably the most common listing. There are even 5 bedroom houses with one bathroom…how much time do these people spend negotiating who gets to shit and shower at what time? For us, 2 bathrooms is as important as heating and cooling, so Priority 1a: 2 bathrooms.

A note to people trying to sell your houses: if you have cheap plastic toilet seats like this one, invest a few $$$ and get better ones. It might make people want to buy your house.

There is also an issue of bathroom fixtures, as it seems that there was a point in Wagga building history when all the builders cashed in on a huge oversupply of cheap fixtures. The toilets (and more important, the toilet seats) in the rental are pretty crappy (that’s a Beavis and Butthead line if there ever was one!)… and we want something better. Maybe not a priority, because they can be replaced easily and relatively inexpensively, but a ‘want’.

Dishwasher: in the rental there is one, but it is small. So small, in fact, that we can’t put most of our plates in it. They are too big. Not a problem really, because we generally use the smaller ones but sometimes if we have guests, or are eating something bulky like corn on the cob, we use the larger ones. Even worse, before our ship arrived last August, we were using plates we had purchased here, and they didn’t fit (well, there was a creative way to get 2 in…). We have enough dishes that in Edmonton we ran the dishwasher twice each week, and it was jammed full. Here, jammed full every two days, plus lots of hand washing of things that are too big. Priority when we move: bigger, better dishwasher, preferably a 2-drawer model. First thing Lisa does in an open house is head to the kitchen to see the dishwasher (that’s her kitchen role – Dan cooks, Lisa has a machine to clean the dishes…). At least she hasn’t ever actually taken a plate with her to an open house to see if it fit – she has threatened, but not done it. Priority #2: a good dishwasher. (Dan edit: I might call this #3, with the one below as #2, but I’m willing to settle for an electric stove if Lisa is willing to take care of the dirty dishes.)

The knobs look like they should control the temperature, but this one is on ‘low’ and stil red hot. Lack of control makes it hard to cook.

Cooktop and oven: At most open houses, Dan has been right behind Lisa as she rushed to look at the dishwasher. But he was looking at the cooking facilities. We’ve been living with a bizarre electric cooktop that doesn’t have a lot of (any?) temperature control. Two of the four burners just seem to be on high all the time, and the other two, well, they can be controlled a bit, but not a lot of accuracy. This is OK if you just want to saute something quickly, but is a problem when making risotto, that has to be at a simmer for a long time. Or really cooking anything that  you don’t want to burn. Sometimes, we actually need to lift the pot off the stove and let it cool down. The oven is fine, but a bit small. The standard here is to have a separate cooktop (on the bench…what we Canadians call the countertop) and oven (wall mounted), rather than a single unit.  And that is fine with us – the oven is actually elevated a bit…who wants to have to bend down to take food out? And you can get a gas cooktop and an electric oven, which is probably the way to go.  Priority #3: gas cooktop, and an oven that works well. We would settle for an electric cooktop that works…because it would mean that we could upgrade to induction at some point! Gas is better than normal electric, but induction…the wave of the future….

Flooring: Not a highlight of the rental. Cheap carpet and no underpad! Basically a thin layer of cheap rug on concrete, because houses in Wagga are usually one story (some, the ones built on a hillside might be two, but there is never a subterranean basement). The floor is therefore the cement pad the house is built on, not a suspended wooden floor with a bit of ‘give’ as in Canada. So here in the rental, there is no cushioning, no ‘bounce’ … This isn’t a deal breaker – we might even be happy with a nice house that had all hardwood floors. But if we are going to have carpet anywhere, we want it done properly. So, Priority #4: floors that our cats will like…they have a closer relationship with them than we do!

It is too much to hope that any house we can afford on our budget will have a patio like this, but maybe some day down the road we can do some renovating.

Patio: Australia is a summery place (yes, even in winter) and we try to spend lots of time outdoors. Our rental has a huge patio area, which includes the furniture we had in the back patio and the front porch areas of our house in Canada, along with a smaller bistro set we purchased here when we had no other furniture. Having a nice patio area, for ourselves and for entertaining, is important. Happily, most houses come with an al fresco area — but some that we’ve seen are pretty tired; overgrown vines, broken concrete, uneven patio stones, etc. Others have outdoor kitchens (!) with built-in BBQs, fridges, sinks, etc. One of Lisa’s ‘wants’ is a ceiling high enough to use the patio heater we brought from Canada. It will be perfect for Aussie winters, but is currently in the shed, because it’s too tall to use on the patio at the rental. Priority # 5: an awesome outdoor room.

OK, we’ve made the rental house sound horrible but it actually isn’t that bad! It is just a typical bungalow that needs a bit of updating, and the type of place we could easily buy…we’ve seen a lot of similar houses.  We just haven’t made offers on any of the numerous cookie-cutter houses that we have walked into and politely walked out of…

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

that’s what the world is today

Posted on May 5, 2012 by waggadventure

This is a good bottle of Clonakilla shiraz, but not as good as the one we will drink when life gets sorted. And there is a very cryptic clue in this photo about part of what is going on…

Have you ever had the feeling that some things are moving really quickly in one direction, others are lagging behind, and some just not going in the right direction at all? And things you thought should be simple are way out of whack? Welcome to Australia…a ball of confusion.

We’re in the middle of what will be, in hindsight, a pretty hilarious blog posting that will make you all go “wow!” But for now, life is a bit messed up… It is a complex story with elements in  Owen Sound & Wagga, Ottawa & Canberra, Vancouver & Sydney,  and Edmonton.

Stay tuned. It will all be revealed, and hopefully resolved, later this month. And we will be able to laugh about it as we celebrate.

Posted in Australia, Canada, Hilltops, identification, Moving, passports, rural life, sheep shearing, travel, Visa | 2 Comments

I gotta really funky concept

Posted on May 1, 2012 by waggadventure

We went to an absolutely hilarious event last week called Wagga Wagga Takes Two. It seems that there used to be an American Idol type tv show here (and probably elsewhere)  called It Takes Two, where a singer and a non-singer were paired together, something like those Dancing with the Pseudo-celebrity shows that were popular in North America recently. And in an attempt to raise some money for charity, some Waggans got together and started their own version.

Here’s how it works: local entertainer and local business person (hospital CEO, real estate agent, etc.) are paired up and put together a musical act that they will then perform at the event (which happens twice…Thursday and Friday night).  Money is raised through ticket sales, but also through audience voting: there are envelopes on your table for each act and you vote by putting money into them. The act that earns the most money for their charity wins a trophy, and their charity gets the money. Acts are also judged by a ‘celebrity’ panel, and that winner gets another trophy. Depending on what the judges are looking for (quality?), what the audience is interested in (a fun and outlandish performance?), and how many friends a performer can get in the door, the audience vote and the judge vote could be very different.

The Wagga High School Dancers were very enthusiastic, but we're not sure if they understand the meaning of the word 'synchronized'.

We went because Lisa’s research assistant (LC) is a singer and was performing. She’s really good, and has won a few trophies over the years they’ve been doing this – in fact, she won the audience vote again this year on Thursday night (we were there Friday).  We were at a table with some other CSU people and LC’s parents and partner…unfortunately, uni people aren’t the richest folk in town, so she didn’t win again on Friday.

So what was the entertainment like? It ranged from serious to hilarious, somewhat boring to absolutely captivating…and so diverse that there was probably something for everyone; what many might have thought was wonderful others would snooze through.

We're not sure if the thong was a direct tribute to Borat, but if so, what will LC's partner wear next year, now that Sacha Baron Cohen has visited Australia in his latest guise?

Some groups seemed to focus on singing, some on the overall spectacle with costumes and props (and the Wagga High dance club was there to support any group…so if you thought having a bevy of enthusiastic but somewhat out of sync teen girls might help, they were there for you…and probably very exhausted by the end of the night!). It ranged from a couple doing a (boring to us, but the judges and voters liked it) duet of some schmaltzy song from some Olympics opening ceremony, to a guy and a girl in blond wigs, corsets and 5-inch heals doing a f#!*ing hilarious Madonna medley. One pair did an Everly Brothers medley (nice…but…good time to go to the bar for another Tooheys);  LC and her partner rocked Olivia Newton-John’s Physical, complete with aerobics (gymnastic mats even!) and the guy wearing a Borat-style onesy-thong!

This is from Rocky Horror Motion Picture, stolen off the web. Even if we had them, there would be something creepy about posting our own pictures from WWT2 with a guy in leather drag dancing with a bunch of scantily-clad school girls...

And another pair of men (the only all-male group) did a thoroughly entertaining and crazy thing that started out as Alice Cooper’s Welcome to My Nightmare and ended up as a Rocky Horror medley (with a hairy guy in leather shorts and suspenders as Frank’n’Furter!). For Dan, it was the highlight of the night (as a Rocky Horror fan, not because he likes guys dressed in drag…and if he did, the guy in the Madonna outfit was a lot hotter!).

On the last night, only one of the groups we voted for won a trophy (the Madonna crew — nothing like seeing a buff, macho guy in a cone bra!…and even better that he is the manager/bartender at a local pub! Maybe next year the dude from Thirsty Crow will be there doing Katy Perry tunes). On the Thursday night, they raised about $40,000 for the dozen charities…not sure what LC’s winning total was (maybe she’ll comment on this blog posting?). In previous years, the two-night total has been growing, and over the 6 years they have been doing this event they have made about $600,000…and thought this year would be similar, expecting maybe $50,000 on Friday. Well, were the organizers surprised (and thrilled!) when the donations came in at about $140,000 for Friday night. We’re not sure exactly how this happened, as the venue only holds about 200 people – there seemed to be some large donations ‘in absentia’ that some of the performers had been lobbying for. And sure, that might technically be cheating,  but it is for charity. And holy crap! That’s a hell of a lot of money into local charities on just one weekend…

And here’s a weird thing about the event: it was BYOD. Not BYOB…the venue makes money selling booze (and even then, beer was pretty inexpensive) but there is no food service there so you could bring your own dinner. In Aus terms, the event was 6:30 for 8:00, meaning doors opened at 6:30, show started at 8. People came early with everything from cheese and crackers to sushi, to the table next to us with a tray of pies and sausage rolls (and of course bottles of tomato and brown sauce). We were going to bring food (Thai takeout) but Dan was starving after a 35 km bike ride between work and the event, so we ended up just going to Wagga Thai and eating in. Others at our table brought nibblies…none were really familiar with the event and I don’t think we really understood the concept, but next year we will go to support LC, have a howler of a good time, and plan a feast for the table!

And since we are on a music theme, what better time to announce the winner of our first anniversary contest. When we were planning it, Lisa thought it was a bit hard (she couldn’t answer many of them!) but Dan wanted to go with it as is. Well, we didn’t get a lot of entries…some people did comment that it was tough…  So, anyway, with a score of 28/54, the winner is our nephew Kris (and we’re sure that his wife Elaine helped, too!). These two lucky people now you get to pick their prize! Of course, we hope it is the one that involves coming here, but if not…let us know within the next couple of weeks and we will bring you a whole lot of Aussie goodies when we are home for a visit. If you have yet to decide, no problem,  you can defer as long as you want. We’re not going anywhere (though the koala we’ve pushed into the gift box may start to get a bit cranky… they are officially a threatened species now, so we have to keep them happy).

For those who are interested, here are the answers (post – artist – song):

  • Jesus died for somebody’s sins-Patti Smith-Gloria (in exelsis deo)
  • Take a chance with a couple of kooks-David Bowie-Kooks
  • And no one touches me-Simon and Garfunkel-I am a rock
  • Summer’s passed, it’s too late to cut the grass-Replacements-Here comes a regular
  • Summer in my mind-Jezabels-Endless summer
  • Laughing giggly whirlybird-XTC-Helicopter
  • Mean old levee-Led Zeppelin-When the levee breaks
  • Like a great big train-Lone Justice-After the flood
  • Gimme danger -Stooges-Gimme danger

  • Not a picture from Wagga Takes Two...or from Tarcutta. Just a filler photo of Oh Calcutta stolen from some other website.

    Oh Tarcutta-Little Feat-Oh Atlanta (this one we don’t agree on…Lisa thinks it is about Oh Calcutta, but that was actually just a play, not a song…)

  • It’s a beauty way to go-Bob and Doug Mckenzie-Take off
  • All secrecy and no privacy – -Rolling Stones -Fingerprint File
  • Baby you can drive my car – Beatles-Drive my car
  • Like a worm on a hook – Leonard Cohen-Bird on a wire
  • Summer in the city –Loving Spoonful-Summer in the city
  • Like a drunk in a midnight choir – Leonard Cohen-Bird on a wire
  • Happy anniversary – -Little River Band-Happy anniversary
  • How deep in the valley – -Sarah Harmer-How deep in the valley
  • A yabbie dabbie do chrissie – Flintstones-Flintstones theme
  • Do they know its chrissie  -Bob Geldof/Band Aid-Do they know its xmas
  • Across the great divide  -The Band-Across the great divide
  • On the road again (and trails and tracks) –Wille Nelson-On the road again
  • I can see for miles – The Who-I can see for miles
  • Capital radio – Clash-Capital radio
  • Young and restless – Prism-Young and restless
  • Down on the farm -Little Feat-Down on the farm
  • Red dirt girl – Emmy Lou Harris-Red dirt girl
  • The steep and winding road – Beatles-Long and winding road
  • Sign of the times – prince-Sign of the times
  • Clap your hands (clap clap) – whoever-If you’re happy-If you’re happy
  • Bright lights big city 2 – -Rolling stones -Bright lights, big city
  • Bright lights big city 1 – -Jimmy Reed -Bright lights, big city
  • Goon Squad – -Elvis Costello-Goon squad
  • Cold cold cold – -Little Feat-Cold cold cold
  • Oh Canada –Every Canadian!-Oh canada
  • Allied forces -Triumph-Allied forces
  • Among my souvenirs – -Connie Francis -Among my souvenirs
  • See you later, Buenos noches… – Cheap Trick-Auf Wiedersehen

And with regard to the winning submission…the C&C Music Factory answer didn’t get you any points, Kris/Elaine. But we are a bit disappointed that, given that Dan probably first heard David Bowie through your dad, Kris, you didn’t get the Kooks one! And you didn’t answer Oh Canada…

Posted in shows, small town culture, wagga, wagga wagga | 1 Comment

When they come tails I nearly die

Posted on April 25, 2012 by waggadventure

OK, so the last post was a bit somber, with a whole bunch of shit about people dying and then some of Shane McGowan’s best dreary vocals. But we said (warned? threatened?) that the next post would be more interesting, so here is our report on our first ANZAC Day in Wagga.

To start it off, here is what we had to shape our expectations: a couple of articles about how much of  a drunken mess the day is/can be:

The ANZAC Day march seems to be the biggest event in Wagga! It gets a much bigger turnout than the 'Town and Gown' academic procession that happens each autumn.

Hmm… sounds just like a hockey game in Canada! We quickly started to realize that this was not your typical day of remembrance, as we might know it in Canada. So, with these stories in mind, we had to make some decisions about how to engage with the day (especially since we had a day off work). The first idea was that, despite the fact that we were entertaining an international visitor (a potential new colleague for Lisa), it might be best to spend most of the day at home. That was the simplest (safest?) plan. The second idea involved venturing out to learn more about the local approach to remembrance… drinking and all. That seemed like a more complicated plan, since we realized that we would need a local (knowledgeable!) person to interpret things and guide us through the day. We were also a little concerned about doing so while hosting an interviewee for a job at Lisa’s work… but hey, if you can’t go to the pub for some drunken’ two-ups, do we really want you as a colleague? Perhaps this would be a good “field” test.

No, this man isn't shading his eyes from the Australian sun. He is the commander of the Army Recruit Training Centre in Wagga (aka Blamey Barracks, aka Kapooka) and he oversaw the march, saluting everyone who went past.

So, our first stop of the day was the ANZAC march. No, not the dawn (6am!) service; that just seemed crazy. We decided to attend the 11am service, which was preceded by a 10:30am march down the main street of town. This was a very personal event, with family members standing at the sidelines to support their sons/daughters in the military; it also included descendants of veterans, soldiers and war widows. Interestingly, there were many people wearing medals; young (even very young!), old, men, women… and we realized that while “Medals may only be worn by the veteran [in Canada]. It is a criminal offense to wear military medals that someone else has earned” — the same is not true here in Australia! Here, there is an exception to the rule: “War medals are not freely available for wear by all. Medals are only to be worn by those to whom the medal has been conferred. The only exception to this ruling occurs on Remembrance Day and Anzac Day. On these two occasions, descendants may wear the medals of deceased recipients but only on the right breast.” It was really quite special to see so many families on the street, with people clapping their hands as the vets went by. Very touching! We all waved our Aussie flags (handed out to all bystanders) with pride.

When we first saw signs advertising ANZAC Day two-up at the local pubs, Dan wondered if it was sort of the same as 'two fisting'. Well, it isn't, but he did that anyway.

And then… it’s off to the pub! After a quick lunch with our international visitors, we enlisted a couple of other friends/colleagues to go out on the town for the ‘two-up’. ANZAC Day pub visits aren’t just like going to any pub. You have to think it through. Strategy #1: go early; if the drunk-fest begins at 12pm, you’re probably safe until about 4pm. After that, especially as the sun goes down, all bets are off (excuse the pun). Strategy #2: take an Aussie with you; if you’re venturing into the pubs for a once-a-year gambling fest, you’ll need someone to guide you through the process. Strategy #3: have a budget and take a small bills; bets of $5 and $10 are good fun, but leave the $50 bills at home. Strategy #4: watch, listen, have a drink… and then bet when you know how it all works. Strategy #5: leave while you’re ahead!

So what is all this crazy two-up business? This is a game invented in Australia involving the tossing of 3 coins and betting on whether the majority will land “heads” or “tails.” You can read lots of details online about the game. The key thing to remember is that it is illegal to play in public EXCEPT on ANZAC Day. We realized that if we didn’t go and play we’d have to wait another entire year before we could say “been there, done that.” After some careful planning about which pub would be best (not dead, but not too wild), we settled on the William Farrer Hotel/Pub in the CBD (our first choice, The Duke of Kent, was dead; The Farmers Home was our second choice, but it looked a bit too crazy; Farrer was just right). They had pitched a huge tent outside of the pub for the two-up game, with lots of security. It was packed! We saw Lisa’s stylist, a couple of real estate agents we’ve met, the owner of our favourite veggie shop… the entire town was in that pub (or one of the others in town)! And they were betting lots of cash.

The two-up ring. From farther back, one might have thought is was a cockfighting event with all the yelling and betting going on.

Here’s the scene: picture 500 people in a big tent. Everyone has a drink in one hand and some hard, cold cash in the other. People will tap a $5 or a $10 bill (or a handful of bills!) on their heads if they want to bet that when the coins are tossed, at least two will land “heads” up. They yell out “tails” if they want to bet that the spinner (the person tossing) will “tail them”. You tap the person on the shoulder and take the bet; the person betting on tails holds the money. The coins go up, come down and you settle your bet; if you were betting heads you either get the money handed to you or you just walk away, after nodding to your opponent to acknowledge defeat. If you were betting tails, you either hand the other person their winnings, or you nod a thank you. Then, another round. And another. And more drinking. And another. Oh my god… get me out of here! Young, old, men women… everyone was involved. You watch for awhile, then your money starts to burn in your hand, and you’re off again. Thank god this only happens once a year! In all, we were in the pub for 90 minutes; we spent the first hour watching, having a pint, having the rules explained, getting a feel for the event. Then Dan went into the betting ring. Lisa agreed to give him 4 $5 bills to start him off. In the span of a quick 30 minutes, Dan lost only once and came up $35 ahead! We left at that point… better to have some cash in pocket then go home broke. But others were betting $200 at once! What is really interesting about this is that it is just friendly betting among strangers. Yes, you can play against the pub for a potential larger win, but most of the money actually changes hands in ‘side bets’ – just regular folk happily passing cash around. There seems to be no concern that someone might rip you off. It isn’t that kind of environment.

It was only 3:45pm when we left, and there was a long night ahead still…and as the drinks were poured, we expected that things would get a little bit raucous. But, all in all, it was a fun event with a neighbourly feel to it. Betting against complete strangers, while you shared a laugh and watched people of all ages coming together. There were many veterans there, enjoying the day… and making a bit of cash on the side. We’re sure to be back again next year…

As an aside, what makes this really interesting is that it might only work in Australia because of the almost impossible to counterfeit polymer bills. Betting involves handing complete strangers your money. There is no worry you won’t get it back if you win – there seems to be no cheating. But if you happened to be a counterfeiter in a country where that is common (Canada…US…Argentina…), you could easily take the other person’s cash, pocket it and hand back fakes. All you would have to do would be bet tails all the time so you were the one holding.  Maybe that is why Australia adopted polymer money. And look out Canada – as you’re adopting the Aussie-created bills later this year, a good game of two-up may not be too far behind.

Posted in ANZAC Day, Australia, beer, bogans, holidays, pub, small town culture, two-up, visitors, wagga | Leave a comment

what are they marching for?

Posted on April 23, 2012 by waggadventure

There are 3 main industries that support Wagga: agriculture, education, and the military are the biggest employers, and the role of that 3rd one is going to be much more prominent this week as Australia celebrates ANZAC Day.

This rock at the entrance to the Blamey Barracks (more commonly known here as Kapooka) is the precise point where new recruits at the Wagga-based army training facility become soldiers.

ANZAC Day commemorates an event in 1915 that saw the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps enter World War I with the Allied Forces, the April 25 landing at Gallipoli that ended up being a bit of a blood bath. Over the course of the campaign, an estimated 120,000 soldiers were killed, and while the majority of them were Turks and Brits, about 8700 Australians and 2700 New Zealanders died. Another 35,000 or so diggers were wounded in battle. Proportionally, compared to the countries’ populations at the time, this was quite high. Gallipoli is also quite relevant to Australian military and political history because of the isolation of Australia – this was the first international military campaign they were involved in, proudly going in support of the British Empire. However, given the mismanagement of the campaign by the British, Australian confidence in the superiority of the British Empire took a huge hit.

The ANZAC memorial in Sydney's Hyde Park is a pretty spectacular place.

So while there is recognition of Armistice/Remembrance Day here, like there was in Canada, ANZAC Day is the bigger day for honouring the military. In Wagga, there will be a dawn service (at 6am, to mark the time of the landing at Gallipoli), followed by a ‘pilgrimage’ to the War Cemetary (just down the street from us). After that, there is a parade and another service at the Victory Memorial Gardens. We will probably go to the parade, just to see what it is like, and stick around for the service after it. Doubtful we will make it to the early morning one though.

We didn’t ever go to the Remembrance Day services in Canada, even though Dan’s dad served in Europe and was a long-standing member of the Royal Canadian Legion and participated every year in the service. Remembrance Day didn’t seem to have the popularity that ANZAC Day does here. In Canada, most people worked on Remembrance Day; in most provinces it wasn’t even a school holiday any more. But in Australia, ANZAC Day is taken seriously. There is no school, no government offices are open, stores aren’t even allowed to open until after lunch.  It might be that Gallipoli and the ANZACs have remained in popular culture here better than World War I in Canada: people eat (either commercial or home-made) ANZAC biscuits, cookies that are similar to what was sent to overseas troops in WWI. There is the movie about Gallipoli with Mel Gibson (probably all that most Canadians know about that battle).  And one of Australia’s best known folk singers wrote a very good and popular song about the aftermath. And while it might seem a bit sacrilegious to post a British/Irish version of it here, this is a) one of our favorite bands; b) this version is one of Dan’s favorite songs; and c) Bogle was actually born in Scotland so the Pogues are almost as Australian as he is.  This is a pretty sad song (warning: really sad…) but maybe if there was something this powerful from a Canadian perspective, more Canadians would keep the sacrifices made by Canadian soldiers and their families a little bit more in the forefront of their minds.


And on that note…next post will be a bit more of a lighter look at ANZAC Day with ‘drunk yobbos’ and ‘two ups’. Stay tuned…

And as a disclaimer, we in no way know how accurate  our description of Gallipoli or ANZAC Day is. Much of it was from wikipedia.

Posted in ANZAC Day, holidays, military | 4 Comments

All beauty must die

Posted on April 20, 2012 by waggadventure

One of the great challenges of living “away” is that we live in political limbo. We can’t vote here, as we aren’t citizens; but we can’t vote in Alberta, as we’re not residents. Sigh… It’s difficult to be so politically connected and, yet, so distant from the immediate process. Over the last few weeks we’ve been following the details of the Alberta election, through our friends on Facebook and Twitter and through Canadian media, as they have posted missives about the upcoming vote in our (second) home province. It’s been really difficult to watch! It’s as though our hands are tied and we’re being held hostage, while forced to watch a bloodbath unfold. Yes, folks… the Wildrose Party, under the wild leadership of Danielle Smith, may well prevail in next week’s election. We’re sorry… really sorry… that we can’t vote with you (or against you, depending on your “persuasion”…though we doubt many of our friends/followers/readers are persuaded that way). So, herewith, a few tips, for those of you with voting rights.

This pic says it all! Get out there and vote.

First – please remember that “strategic voting” can actually work, especially in the wilder regions of Canada. Now, for the record, we’re on the left of the spectrum (remember that diagram Dan made during the federal election…). We’ve door-knocked for the NDP. We lived, for years, in the only NDP riding in Alberta. We think Sarah Palin is nuts (entertaining, yes! But silly, nonetheless (Dan edit: we don’ think she’s nuts, she is nuts…that isn’t a judgement but an absolute, and even she probably agrees.). However, in Edmonton, voting for the conservative party can (at times) be the lesser of evils. That said, you may be best to go with the Liberal or NDP candidate; it all depends on your local riding and see what makes sense given the candidates and traditional voting patterns. (Dan again: wow, I never thought I would hear Lisa say that voting for the conservatives would be OK unless she had somehow convinced me to move to…hmmm, where? Tajikistan? Kryzigistan? some other third-world banana republic?) It’s a very right-wing culture in Alberta; so voting for the conservatives can actually save you from the depths of a greater evil. To get you motivated, a few examples (with thanks to the Edmonton Sun – traditionally known as a right-wing rag, but hey… very useful at the moment):

What Danielle Smith has to say on university behaviour codes: “It is perfectly reasonable (to) expect its students to refrain from practices that are biblically condemned, and sign a pledge not to get drunk, swear, harass, lie, cheat, steal, have an abortion, practise the occult, or engage in sexual sins such as premarital sex, adultery, homosexual behaviour and viewing of pornography.”

WTF?? At least she didn’t say that uni staff had to behave as such. Whew…we might have had to look for new jobs (or been forced to moved to Australia. Hmm… why did we move?).

These are some other guys you can vote for (Brian Mason & Raj Sherman)... but do so at your own peril! Although Brian is technically "electable" (based on historic voting patterns), the NDP and the Liberals don't really have a hope in hell.

Here is what Danielle Smith has to say on abortion: “… Any politician who challenges the status quo gets pilloried by the media, abortion rights groups and opposing politicians … Yet, second- and third-trimester abortions are a horrific practice … Most Canadians respect that the decision is between a woman, her doctor and God, but I’m sure they also agree that the taxpayer should not be on the hook to pay for it.”

Wow! Really? Is this the type of person you want to have in charge? And if the woman’s god and doctor agree, shouldn’t it be publicly funded?

In fact, there is a Facebook site devoted to “The Crazy Things Danielle Smith Says/Does“. It would be funny, if it weren’t true… Then there is the story of candidate Allan Hunsperger who wrote a fascinating entry on his blog in 2011, noting that if gays and lesbians didn’t change their sexual orientation they would “suffer the rest of eternity in the lake of fire, hell.” Seriously?

And no, this doesn’t just affect Alberta. If the Wildrose are successful, the tenor of elections could change across Canada. Alberta is one of those places that has a lot of power, even though they think it all rests in ‘the east’, which is all that communist area east of Lloydminster (but only as far as Quebec; the French are dead to many folks in Alberta, and the Atlantic provinces are just a drain on the public purse; at least, that’s what we heard many people say when we lived there)… But really, a lot of the political and financial clout does reside in big sky country, and if some bad shit happens there, the crazies in the rest of the country will be motivated and mobilized to turn Canada into another Texas.

You too can burn in hell... if you vote for the wrong party.

So, although we never really considered ourselves ‘Albertans’ we are…and, more importantly, we are Canadians, and also just…how do we describe this…citizens of the world who care about other people’s freedoms and rights and well-being. So, we implore all our friends in Alberta to:

  1. do your homework. Read the papers, Google the election details, whatever. Just try to be educated about the issues and what you can do about it.
  2. vote: it is your right, and with that right comes an obligation to be part of the political process. If  you can do that, you will make us happy. But we will be even happier if you
  3. vote with a goal in mind. Yes, voting on emotional or ideological grounds is important, but sometimes voting against another one is more useful and beneficial in the long-term.

And for people outside of Alberta who have friends and relatives there, please discuss the issues with them and try to make a difference. We don’t want crazy people running the country… but even though Alberta is guaranteed to have a crazy  undesirable premier, at least you can help it being one not completely wacky.

And in the words of some other caring, young folks out there, “We must stress, we are not affiliated with any party — not funded by or organized by any party. We are simply young people who have a strong opinion.” [Lisa edit: they took the words right out of my mouth; I never thought I’d vote PC either… but having lived in T-Towne, in one of the most uber-conservative ridings in Alberta, I can see how that might happen]

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